Love Is Harder Without Self-Care

Love comes from within one-self. Our hearts/soul has to understand and experience love before we can love others. The benefits of love is a positive mental wellness for both parties and without self-care, it is impossible to love.

Self-Caring

I experienced love from my family and friends. The one common characteristic I see in all of them is self-care.

They have the habit of spending time taking care of their personal needs & wants. Whereas, for such a long time, I neglected myself worrying about how to please others and how I can help others. Such unhealthy mindset and neglected self-care has accumulated and now exploded in my life.

I regretted and now I have to climb back up from the hellhole.

What Is Not Self-Care

Self-care is not keeping yourself busy by indulgence in work, shopping, binge eating, getting drunk or ignoring others. True self-care is about taking some time to slow down, ignore the voices / distractions and ask yourself: “What do I truly need that the material cannot meet?“

Self-Care Through Minimalism

This season of my life is recovering from the aftermath of people-pleasing most of my life, meeting expectations of family, friends and former colleagues. Not to mention, church leaders.

Thankfully for my authentic self, I am able to identify the symptoms of social withdrawal, no idea what I want in life and past traumas coming back to torment me. What do I do now?

This is where minimalism comes in.

Minimalism means decluttering the non-essentials, not just in material but also mental and spiritual life. This is a season where slowing down is essential, taking a time of solitude in another country, practice discipline of praying and reading the bible. Also, learning to say no to others (unless its life and death matters).

Such a phase is essential because I also realized I am not capable of loving those around me like I used to. I felt my heart numb. I would cry suddenly, I would not feel a thing when I read about tragedies. This is not me but the fading of me.

Thus, my journey of self-care begins 2024.